🌱 When Becoming a Parent Transforms Identity: Questions of Motherhood (and Fatherhood) in Motion

Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just transform the body. They deeply reshape identity. You become a mother, you become a father… but what happens to the woman, the man, the person you were before? Can you be both at once? Or does stepping into this new role mean letting go of part of yourself?

🤔 Who am I becoming?

When a woman gives birth, we say a child is born. But a mother is also born.
And sometimes, that birth is painful, confusing, uncertain.

How do you stay yourself when all your space is taken up by this tiny being?
How do you reclaim your body, your relationship, your energy… when you’re sleep-deprived and running on empty?

And for fathers too: what does it mean to become a dad? Do you feel “father” the moment your baby arrives—or does that bond grow slowly, built through everyday gestures?

🌊 What about the gap between the ideal and the reality?

We’re often told motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment. But what happens when you don’t instantly feel that “instinctive” love everyone talks about?
Does that mean you’re a bad mom?
Or should we accept that bonding can take time, that love sometimes grows in layers?

Maybe parenthood isn’t an immediate certainty, but a journey. A messy, winding path where we discover new versions of ourselves.

💬 What if love also grows through imperfection?

A baby doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need presence—even fragile presence.
So how do we learn to love ourselves in our limits, our fatigue, our mistakes?

Maybe loving your child means accepting that you won’t always get it right.
It’s about recognizing your shortcomings, yet showing up anyway.

🔍 What helps in navigating this upheaval?

There’s no magic formula, but a few things often help:

• Time, to ease into this new identity.

• Support, from a partner, a friend, a midwife—someone who listens without judgment.

• Words, to break the silence, to admit it’s hard, to dare to ask for help.

• And maybe most of all, permission to be in process. To accept that becoming a parent is not a single moment, but an unfolding.

So who do we become when we become parents?
Perhaps a fragile blend: a little of our old selves, a little of someone new.
Maybe it’s not about losing an identity, but expanding it.

And maybe, in the end, motherhood and fatherhood aren’t fixed roles, but evolving paths—shaped night after night, in clumsy cuddles and sleepy smiles. 🌙💞